Depression

When someone says “I’m sad”

Do you come across the following replies, or do you use the following replies?

“Don’t be!”

“Shut up! You’re just being a cry baby”

“Stop being an attention hog”

“Go get some sleep, you’ll be fine”

“Yaar rona band kar, mard ban, Be a man”

“Talking about feelings is a sign of weakness”

If you have used any of the replies, laughed it away if someone else used one of these replies or something like these… YOU are a part of the bigger problem than you think.

Today, Sushant Singh joins a long list of people who decided that they had enough. According to the World Health Organisation, 20 Crore people in India may be suffering from depression. If you think COVID-19 was a big problem, you are grossly mistaken.

What am I here to talk about? I am here to talk about the attitude people have towards anyone who wants to talk about their mental health and depression. I have been suffering from depression for some time and I was lucky enough to figure out that there are people in my family who were ready to lend an ear. But not everyone is as lucky as I am. I have come across a lot of people who have a good family, but they turn a blind eye to the word depression as if it is a taboo. Mental Health in India has never been given the same priority as physical health.

So if you have a friend who suddenly vanishes for a couple of hours every week saying “I was asleep”, there is a good possibility that he/she has been gathering dark thoughts or if he/she took the right decision to see a mental health professional, he/she is too ashamed to admit that he/she has been visiting a shrink, because there’s a thought in the head of friends making fun of them.

Family members, if you find your loved ones locking themselves away in their rooms, no longer talking about their lives, their thoughts and not participating in family activities, please be open to them, ask them, tell them you’re there to listen to what they want to talk about WITHOUT being judgmental and please do NOT cut their train of thoughts by putting in your own thoughts. Let them speak, even when you have nothing to give back, it helps just to listen to them. Do NOT dismiss their words, or laugh at them, and please maintain privacy when requested unless the situation is dire.

I decided to write about this because Sushant’s Twitter account had the profile picture background of “Starry Night” painted by Van Gogh. If people know about the history of Starry Night, it was painted while Van Gogh was in Depression between 1888 and 1889, and he took his own life in 1890. There are subtle pointers for people to look out for so that they can provide help to the ones in need. The kind of music, a sudden change in social behavior, a sudden drop in work productivity, sharing things on social media which have subtle underlining of depression, like in case of Sushant’s Twitter account Profile Background. 

A request to all, if you could just open up and accept that depression is an illness which will be the 2nd largest killer of mankind by the year 2030, you can at least save your loved ones from losing their will to live. Please talk, be receptive, and offer help in any way you can. “Chal Daru peete hai” is not one of them. Offering to bring positive changes in their daily lives is. If you cannot do that, refer them to someone who can be. You will be blessed!

-By Sourabh Katikar